From Coffee to Guest of Honour
- John Heffer
My wife and I retired in 1997. We were taking an art appreciation class at the University of Calgary when someone from CCIS came in. I think they saw a bunch of old people with time on their hands. That moment sparked something.
We were matched with the Kalajic family — Serbs from Bosnia. I remember they missed their flight to Calgary and had no money for another. They were given a free flight. “What country is this?” they asked.
Our first meeting was at a Starbucks on 17th Avenue. Their English was limited, but Dragan spoke more than Jalka. Humour became our common ground. We introduced them to their first Halloween, their first toboggan ride, their first Christmas in Canada. Their daughters, Anna and Katerina, grew up before our eyes.
Years passed. We stayed in touch. And then one day, I received an invitation — to Katerina’s wedding in Toronto. Not just as a guest, but as a guest of honour.
I remember seeing the invitation and thinking, “Of course I have to go.”
I combined the trip with a visit to my sister and another newcomer family I’d supported. But that wedding — that moment — was something else.
When I arrived, I was introduced to the groom, a hockey player. He already knew who I was. “This is the man who welcomed us to Canada,” they had told him. I was one of the first friends they met in Canada. I was part of their story.
When I was introduced to the groom, he knew enough about me as he’d been briefed. We had a conversation that wasn’t about hockey. With respect, I think. And affection, maybe.
There were a hundred people at that wedding, and they all seemed to know me. I didn’t take my shirt off like the others — it was a hot day in Toronto — but I was there, dancing with the family, laughing, remembering.
That moment — being honoured at their daughter’s wedding — was one of the most profound experiences of my life. It reminded me that small acts of kindness can echo across decades. That saying yes to a coffee can lead to a lifetime of connection.
I’ve held onto one simple rule: never say no. Say yes, and your life will expand.